ramblings, rants, news, ephemera, and stuff

Burning Questions #4: How Did We Lose the Vietnam War?

Stallone, Schwarzenegger. NorrisOur silver-screen Vietnam vets were kicking ass in the 1980s. Sylvester Stallone was taking on entire towns armed with a sneer, Arnold Schwarzenegger was cracking necks with his bare hands, and Chuck Norris was doing, uh…(actually I’ve never seen any of those Missing in Action movies, but I’m sure Chuck was doing the exact same thing as Stallone). As John Rambo, John Matrix, Alan “Dutch” Schaefer, and James Braddock, our celluloid heroes were one-man armies; no one could stop them, not even invisible Rasta aliens.

So, how in the heck, dear readers, did we lose the Vietnam war with such badasses on our side?

My answer: We didn’t lose Vietnam. It was a tie. (Extra points if you know what movie that quote comes from.)

“No Place for a Hero” on Amazon Kindle

I self-pubbed! I self-pubbed!

Gosh, it’s fun creating ebooks.

After much fussing, “No Place for a Hero” went live on Amazon this week. The story was originally published last year in Galaxy’s Edge Magazine and later reprinted in The Best of Galaxy’s Edge 2013-2014 and podcasted at StarShipSofa.

Also included is my short short story “6 Attempts at Winning Jennifer’s Heart.”

Yes, all this can be yours for the low, low price of 99 cents.

All you have to do is click over to Amazon.

How about that cover too?

What’s Been Going On?

I haven’t posted in a while and there hasn’t been much by the way of publications in the past few months, but that’s about to change. A bunch of stories are coming out in the next few weeks.

“A Day to End All Days” will be published in Third Flatiron’s fall anthology “Ain’t Superstitious” on September 1. There’s already a pre-order page up on Amazon.

I’m very excited about this: “So You’ve Metamorphosed Into a Giant Insect. Now What?” will be in the Unidentified Funny Objects 4 anthology, edited by Alex Shvartsman. What’s so exciting — beyond being in the kick-ass UFO series — is that I’ll be sharing a table of contents with George R.R. Martin and Neil Gaiman! In fact, there are only four stories between me and GRRM! The book should be out in either September or October. Check back for more details.

“The Grimlorn Under the Mountain,” which is one of my few (so far) non-funny stories, will be in the first issue of the revived Weirdbook Magazine, edited by Douglas Draa. That should be out in October.

“The Great Work” — I hope — will be published in the eight volume of Spark: A Creative Anthology. No confirmation on a publication date yet. This, too, is a straight-up horror story.

In other publishing news, I’m putting the finishing touches on my first self-published reprint. That should be out this week. I’ll have an update on that soon.

“Simon Clash: The Galaxy’s Greatest Hero” Published in Nature’s Futures

Nature's FuturesMy space opera tale about a hero and his robot sidekick who specialize in saving princesses has been published in Nature’s Futures.

Here’s the opening to “Simon Clash: The Galaxy’s Greatest Hero”:

A brzzt-brzzt-brzzt came stuttering through the air as we sped over the black sands of Desolation. Something hit the repulsor-cycle’s rear fin, sending it into a vicious spin. Ja-bot was immediately thrown. I fought to regain control, and had nearly stopped the ever-widening gyre, but the cycle caught the edge of a dune and pitched me into the burning sand.

You can read the entire story at the Futures website.

You can read about what inspired the story here.

“No Place for a Hero” on StarShipSofa Podcast

StarShipSofaThe fine folks at StarShipSofa featured my superhero story “No Place for a Hero” on their podcast last month.

You can listen to it here.

The story was originally published in Galaxy’s Edge Magazine and reprinted in “The Best of Galaxy’s Edge 2013-2014″ anthology.

“Do Stand-Up Bots Dream of Electric Hecklers?” Published in Perihelion SF

perihelion_logoMy story about a stand-up comedian robot has been published in Perihelion Science Fiction.

Here’s the opening to “Do Stand-Up Bots Dream of Electric Hecklers?”:

Harold was sitting toilet, reading the holo-paper, when the stand-up bot began an impromptu set. Harold had come to hate the metallic hack with the ferocity he usually reserved for people who dog-eared old print books or got those ridiculous data-streaming bionic eyes.

You can read the entire story at Perihelion SF.

“6 Attempts at Winning Jennifer’s Heart” & “No Place for a Hero” Reprinted

I love me reprints.

Getting paid once for a story is nice, but getting paid twice? Now that’s sweet!

I had two big reprints in the past few months.

The first was “No Place for a Hero,” which was originally published in Galaxy’s Edge Magazine in November 2014. In December it made its way into “The Best of Galaxy’s Edge 2013-2014 ” anthology, along with stories by Larry Niven, Mercedes Lackey, and Ken Liu.

You can pick it up at Amazon as a paperback or ebook.

If reading isn’t your thing, “No Place for a Hero” will be podcast on StarShipSofa on February 18th. So look for that too. This little story sure has been making the rounds since it was published only a few months ago!

In January “6 Attempts at Winning Jennifer’s Heart” was reprinted in the “Flash Fiction Online 2014 Anthology,” the publication’s first annual anthology. It was originally published in Flash Fiction Online in August 2014. The anthology also includes stories by Caroline M. Yoachim, Bonnie Jo Stufflebeam, and Stewart C. Baker.

It’s available at Amazon as an ebook.

“Head to Head” Published in Triptych Tales

Triptych Tales

My story about a redneck telepath has been published by Triptych Tales.

Here’s the opening to “Head to Head”:

The voice of God spoke inside Walter’s head. He had his doubts, of course, but eight years of Catholic school are hard to shake off. So he played along — you know, just in case.

He had confessed to five of the seven deadly sins before finally calling the voice’s bluff. “I don’t think God would say ‘Dang’!”

You can read the entire story at Triptych Tales

 

“No Place for a Hero” Published in Galaxy’s Edge Magazine

Galaxy's Edge Magazine #11 CoverMy story about a superhero named Bernie has been published in Galaxy’s Edge, edited by Mike Resnick.

Here’s the opening to “No Place for a Hero”:

Bernard Kowalski destroyed the Verrazano Bridge during the Friday rush.

But there are three important things to keep in mind: It was unintentional, no one died, and he caught the bank robbers he was chasing. It was a classic superhero feat. They should have given him a ticker-tape parade.

Instead he got thirty years in prison.

You can read the entire story on the Galaxy’s Edge website for free (for a limited time). Go here: http://www.galaxysedge.com/n3.htm

I’m in good company. The issue also features stories by Robert Silverberg, Maureen McHugh, Alex Shvartsman, and Jack McDevitt, among others.

You can buy copies through Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

Subscriptions are available here.

 

“The Zombie Who Had a Name” Published in Bardic Tales and Sage Advice (Volume VI)

My short story “The Zombie Who Had a Name” has been reprinted in Bardic Tales and Sage Advice (Volume VI). This is my first reprint.

The story was among the winners of Bards and Sages Quarterly’s 2013 Readers Choice Awards.

I’ll be talking about the story and whatever other questions people have for me at the eFestival of Words Virtual Book Fair this Saturday (August 23rd) at 3:30 pm ET.

Buy Bardic Tales and Sage Advice (Volume VI) at Amazon

“6 Attempts at Winning Jennifer’s Heart” Published at Flash Fiction Online

My short short story "6 Attempts at Winning Jennifer's Heart" has been published at Flash Fiction Online. I wrote this story for the Weekend Warrior contest at the Codex Writers' Group. In the contest, you're given a prompt on Friday night and … [Read More]

Weird Tales #362 Cover & Table of Contents Revealed

Weird Tales #362

Weird Tales has announced the table of contents for issue #362, which contains my story "From the Casebook of Dead Jack, Zombie P.I.: The Amorous Ogre." They've also released the amazing cover, which was designed by Jeff Wong with an image from … [Read More]